Are you a gay man who's hoping for take a gay test to make? Come to terms with being gay. Manplay.com offers 10 tips on how to feel good about your sexuality and be happy! It can be really hard to acknowledge that you might not be what you thought was "normal", so try these ten tips to help you accept your true self and achieve real happiness.
First and foremost, you need to keep in mind that being a gay man is not a choice. It is not your fault that you like men and find them attractive.Are you gay? Who cares? You were born this way, and you should be proud to be who you were born to be. There's no gay test that you can take to confirm it. Being gay isn't something that you can change, and realizing that as soon as possible will save you a lot of grief and pain. Taking steps to attempt to change your sexual orientation will only make you unhappy, and waste your valuable time. Thinking that you did anything wrong for not being a straight man is a far too common feeling for men in America, but it's simply not true. It may take some time, but you will start to feel comfortable in your own skin. Hopefully you have people who support you, but if anyone tries telling you that you chose to live this way or that you're wrong and somehow at fault for liking men, ignore them. These people are ignorant, and have issue of their own that don't concern you. You are who you are and you really deserve to be proud of that. You are exactly who you are supposed to be. If you're a religious person, than take comfort in knowing that God made you who you are and who you're supposed to be.
One important thing to realize if you're struggling and wondering how to accept your sexuality, is that you don't have to change. Coming to terms with being gay doesn't mean adhering to stereotypes or having to "act gay". You're still you, you'll just be a more at peace and happier version of yourself once you accept your sexuality. Some men get anxiety around realizing that they're gay because they think it means they have to be something different from who they know themselves as. This isn't true, it's just anxiety. Not a single thing about your life needs to be any different, and you should continue to live your life as you see fit. If you aren't ready to start dating men there's nothing wrong with that. There's no rush for anything, and no need to push yourself into a certain lifestyle just because you've seen it portrayed one way on TV. There are as many different "types" of gay man as there are types of people so you're unique. If something makes your uncomfortable, or you feel like you need more time to come to terms with realizing that you like other men that's totally ok.
There are huge LGBTQ communities in every city around the world, so remember that you are not in this alone. Hundreds of men have gone through exactly what you're going through when they were starting to accept that they were gay. They're just a click away if you need to see a reminder. These groups, and the people in them, are available for contact through social media or a group website if you ever feel the need to talk to someone. They'll be more than willing to offer you support and words to encouragement. They know what you're feeling and they can remind you that it does get better. Chances are there are more gay men in your town or city than you thought. Once you start going out and meeting men, you'll probably see some guys that you recognize from other social or work situations. Even more proof that you're not in this on your own. So many people are supportive of gay lifestyles nowadays that, even though you're afraid now, you'll see that you have people behind you on your journey. Everyone has a struggle to accept themselves, so we can all relate to you and offer our support.
When you aren't sure how you're feeling about yourself and taking a gay test isn’t helping, it's important that you surround yourself with people who love you. If you have family that is open and supportive, consider coming out to them and having them help you come to accept your sexuality. They might not understand exactly what you're feeling or what you're going through, but they will be there to offer you support and love when you need it. Everyone has had a time when they've struggled with themselves in one way or another, so your family will know how to comfort you. If you don't have a family that would be supportive, or they're part of your stress, than turn to your friends. They love you for who you are and will surround you, physically and emotionally, with love and acceptance. Just being in the presence of people like this will help you come to terms with being gay and realizing that people love you and will be there for you still. Online communities can be really helpful if you don't feel ready to open up to those close to you about being gay yet. These online resources can help you accept yourself, help you come out to your friends and family when it's time.
Think of all of the things you'll be able to do and the weight you can let go of by being your true self. Once you accept that you're gay, you'll feel freedom. Maybe not immediately; it might be tough at first, especially if others don't react kindly. But you will feel so much better in a general sense being truthful to yourself. Lying to yourself about liking men and trying to be something that you aren't is stressful. This kind of stress can bleed into all parts of your life until you're overwhelmed by the charade you've tried to create and live. Letting yourself live as a gay man, in your own way, will add a depth and a sense of self peace that you haven't experienced yet. Once you accept your sexuality and live openly, you'll truly be able to live your life to the fullest. You'll enjoy little things because you won't be caught up in your own lies about how you feel about certain situations or experiences. The greatest gift you can give yourself is the give of honesty. In your heart, you know you're a gay man. Allow yourself to open that part of your life and start living!
Once you realize the answer to ‘Are you gay?,’you need to also keep in mind that being gay doesn't define you as a person. You are a man who likes men, but you're so much more than that! Many men are afraid that if they accept that they're gay, than they'll have to act like people expect gay men to act. Or they feel that people will only see that when they look at them after they've come out, but the truth is that nothing will change about you. The people who know you know the real you, and accepting that you're gay doesn't mean that's all you are. Being gay isn't even the biggest defining point about you, it's just one aspect of the many facets of your personality. So don't be afraid that being ok with the fact that you're gay will become your identity. Openly gay men are members of government, high-ranking lawyers - every career field has a gay man or more in there somewhere, and they aren't defined by it. Your sexual identity isn't your only identity. The sooner you realize this the sooner you can come to terms with your homosexuality, and start living your life as you're meant to.
This philosophy goes for anyone and everyone, because at its core it's about self-confidence. You need to love and accept yourself before others can do the same. That doesn't mean no one will love you if you aren't feeling yourself or need help, it means that the people who do love you can't love the true you if you won't acknowledge that it's there. Your friends and family can't love the true you if you aren't showing it to them. And hiding your sexuality from them and yourself holds that back. You'll find that the more you start to accept yourself and the fact that you like men, you'll noticed all of the positive energy that comes your way. You open your life to new possibilities, love being one of them, once you're able to accept that you're a gay man. Your overall demeanour and quality of life will improve, and people will notice the "new" happier you. This is all just from accepting who you are and being open to what life brings you. When you're ready, your self-loving attitude will attract the type of men who you want to meet, and you might even find your true love. But before that can happen you need to accept you.
If you're having a really hard time accepting your homosexuality, try opening up to someone who you trust. It doesn't matter who it is, it could be a family member or friend, but talk about your feelings and concerns with someone. Sometimes just talking about your fears and anxieties can help make them better. Words of advice and comfort from people whose opinions we value can go a long way in helping us solve an inner battle. Hearing someone you love or trust voice your concerns and discuss them with you also takes a burden off of you because you aren't dealing with it alone anymore. You're letting someone in on your personal journey, so it needs to be a trusted person. No matter what you go through during your time trying to accept that you're gay, this person will know what's causing your turmoil and be there to help when you need it. If you don't want anyone else to know except for this person, than they can help you keep your secret until you feel ready to tell it. And when the time comes, they can help you too. Having someone by your side when you're down is really helpful and reminds us that we aren't alone in our struggles.
There is absolutely no need to feel shame about being gay. Even if you're feeling like it's your fault or that you don't deserve good things, try to realize that none of that is true. There's nothing wrong with being gay, it's just a sexual preference, a small detail that makes up a whole person. If you think that being gay means you won't find and don't deserve happiness, you're wrong. You deserve and are entitled to love and happiness just as much as anyone else, and being a gay man doesn't make that any less true. You might find that some people are ignorant about gay people in general, but their attitudes aren't about you. There's no reason that you shouldn't find happiness. Coming to terms with being gay will get you there faster, if only just internally for being truthful to yourself. As much as you can while you're feeling down, try to get yourself on a path to happiness. Remind yourself that you are more than a gay man, and people love you for who you are. If you need it, have a friend remind you that you deserve to be happy. But you will realize it yourself one day, as soon as you can accept yourself as gay.
At the end of the day, you can't deny who you are truly are. Save yourself the unhappiness of pretending to be something you're not and accept your feelings. If you find a man attractive, don't try to explain it away or deny it. Accept that you feel that way. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to other men. Once you can stop denying the way you feel whenever you see an attractive man, you can start accepting that you're gay. Denial is a powerful thing, but it only suppresses the truth for so long. Start with baby steps and catch yourself when you start internally starting to shut down homosexual feelings. Recognizing that you're doing it, and stopping the thoughts in their tracks, you can actively turn those thoughts positive. If you think a man is hot, think of it as a good thing. Or let the thought go without trying to explain it. Small internal changes in your attitude toward your feelings is a good start in accepting that you're gay. Trying to deny how you feel will only lead to misery for you because you're spending so much of your energy on trying to pretend you're something that you're not. If you feel like you might want to talk to a cute guy, don't tell yourself that you shouldn't, go do it! Accept your feelings and thoughts, and you'll find that you're starting to accept yourself being gay. The big difference will come when you don't even have to think about changing a negative thought into a positive. It'll start happening naturally as your feelings toward being gay start to change from denial to acceptance.