Am I Gay If I Don’t Want To Be A Bottom?

Are you wondering "am I gay?" because you don't want to bottom in bed? Manplay stops you from taking a gay test with reasons why some gay men don't. You are still a gay man, even if you only want to be on top. Statistics say that 92% of gay men are bottoms, but it's a preference and not everyone can be a bottom. Without tops where would the bottoms be? Which position you prefer doesn't define your sexuality. When it comes to being a gay man, there's no rule that says you have to be the bottom when you have sex in order to really be gay. That being said, there are a few possible reasons why some gay men will only be on top. Not wanting to be a bottom doesn't make you any less gay.

Gay Test: Shame And Masculinity

When it comes to the question of positions in the bedroom, some gay men tend to feel ashamed of wanting to be bottoms, or even of being a bottom most of the time already. While it's true that the majority of gay men do seem to prefer to bottom during sex, a large number of those men also feel shame about it. Why these otherwise proud gay men feel any shame in wanting to be a bottom for anal sex is a mystery, but it could be something to do with societal attitudes. There's a false notion with some men, in some parts of the gay community, that being a bottom is less masculine. Some men are afraid to admit that they would actually prefer to bottom than to be on top, but fear that they will be seen as feminine. Another false idea that seems to be held with some men that will exclusively be tops during sex is that being a bottom makes a man for effeminate, or that more effeminate men prefer it. This simply isn't true.

Gay Test: Don't Like It

Some gay men simply don't like to be the bottom. They don't enjoy being penetrated, and if you don't enjoy something during sex or if doesn't feel good, then why do it? Not everything is for everyone and the same goes for receiving anal sex. There's no rule to being gay that says you have like being on the receiving end of anal sex in order to really be gay. It's not a gay test that you need to pass. Some guys just don't like how it feels and that's it. Maybe you've tried some anal play before but haven't enjoyed too much of it. You can enjoy giving, if not receiving, and that's just fine. As long as you still want to have sex with men, and not penetrate women, then you can consider yourself gay. You aren't required to like being a bottom in order to genuinely be gay, so don't feel like not being a fan of it makes you any less gay.

Gay Test: Negative Stigma

For a while, there was a negative stigma surrounding being a bottom in the gay community. For a long time, it was considered passive behavior to want to bottom. For this reason, a lot of gay men feel some shame or are afraid to even try to be bottom for fear of being seen as a passive person. This isn't a desired trait for men to possess, so fear of being seen as having it is a big motivator to stay away from even trying anal sex as a bottom. No man wants to be considered effeminate or passive, it threatens their masculinity and sense of manliness. The fact is that there is no truth or validity to this opinion. Even if you do try bottoming, chances are that the gay community at large won't find out if that's what you're afraid of. Keep your sex life private and you won't have to worry about judgements, perceived or real, from other people.

Gay Test: Power And Control Issues

Being a bottom has sometimes been considering passive or submissive. Some in the gay community see gay men who bottom as weaker, or submissive even outside of the bedroom. Not all members of the gay community feel this way, but some guys won't bottom during sex because of this attitude. They may feel this way, or they might be afraid of being seen as submissive, but the attitude is a prevalent one. Which is silly, considering that most gay men are actually bottoms. For some men, it's an issue of control. They feel like they are in control if they're on top and they don't want to relinquish that by being a bottom. In reality, the bottom holds the power because sex depends on their consent. There is also such thing as a power-bottom, so maybe a little bit willful ignorance is at play as well.

Gay Test: Hygiene Concerns

Some men refuse to bottom during sex because they're afraid they aren't clean enough, or they fear a mishap. Even knowing that one has immaculate hygienic habits isn't enough to comfort some guys enough to be willing to try receiving anal sex. It's an anxiety that could be alleviated with the use enema or some other pre-cleaning method, but some guys are just too convinced that they will have something embarrassing happen to them if they even try to bottom. Funnily enough, these same guys will have no issue eating you out or having anal sex in general, they just have fears regarding themselves in that situation. These opinions aren't projected in their partners, fortunately, so gay men who have hygiene related fears about being a bottom are still great lovers.

Gay Test: Fear Of Pain

Being on the receiving end of anal sex hurts at first. It's a muscle that's being stretched and there will be a little bit of pain before it gets amazing. Some men are afraid of this pain, though, and refuse to experience it in their most intimate of places. While every bottom out there would tell you that it's so worth it, some men just can't get past the idea of it hurting at all. Even when it's done right, there will be some discomfort to start with, especially if you've never done it before. This alone is the single reason that many of the men who say they won't be a bottom feel that way. Fear is a powerful thing, and it's what is holding them back in this case. If it's your partner, try working through it together if it's important for you to change-up your sex life. Be gentle and patient, and know that you can stop at any time.

Consider Your Reasons For Not Wanting To Bottom

If you're against being a bottom during sex consider the reason behind it. What about receiving anal sex makes you not want to try or do it? Maybe the reason you feel this way about bottoming is fear-based, and is something that can be resolved. It's always nice in a relationship to be able to switch-up positions between lovers on top and bottom, so if you think you might be able to overcome your fear about being a bottoms you'd only benefit. If you're afraid that your lover might consider you less masculine or more passive, then ask yourself if you feel that way about them. Chances are you don't, and they won't either. And if they do, then they aren't the person for you, and would be extremely hypocritical. If you fear that you might not be clean enough and want to avoid any potential "mishaps" then consider showering and using an enema before doing the deed. Ask your partner how they prepare, and consider sharing your concerns with them so that they can help you overcome them. If you've tried being a bottom before and simply don't enjoy, and don't think it feels good, then no harm done. You tried it, and it's not for you. At least you gave it a shot! But was it bad because of who you were with? Were you stressed, and therefore tense? Maybe you'd change your mind with the right person, but the point is, there is no pressure to have to like receiving anal sex. Not everybody likes it, and not everybody has to.

For more gay test articles on being gay and bottoming in bed, check these out:

- 10 Ways To Accept Being Gay
- 14 Reasons It's Harder Being A Bottom