The Top Ten Gay Test Questions to Ask Yourself
Sometimes things are hardest to see when they are inside us. It can be difficult to always know yourself best and it can take some outside guidance to be able to locate the answers from within. To act as your guide, Manplay.com has a gay test that you can give yourself. Take a look at these questions and really look inside so you can find your answers.
The Gay Test
1. When did you start questioning?
Has this been a nagging question in your mind as long as you can remember? Or did something trigger this introspection?
Many gay men can describe the experience of always knowing that something about them was different from the norm. They may not have been able to put their finger on it, but their interactions with the other boys their age and the things they enjoyed to look at just didn't match up with what they were told they were supposed to feel. Having those feelings growing up will often have you question which part of yourself deviated from the norm.
Yet, not everyone has the resolute grasp on their sexuality until much later in life. Sometimes it isn't until some triggering event that they begin to second guess those feelings they had when they were younger. This can be the hardest time for somebody to be able to navigate this self-discovery on their own.
If the triggering event was a passing comment or a wandering thought, it's possible that you are just getting yourself into a HOCD spiral. Is it your behavior that worries you? Or is it the response to your behavior?
2. Who took up the most of your mind as a child?
It's in our childhood that we can see the purest forms of what is inherent to us. Though we may not understand it as a child, there are signs from your youth that can help you figure out some of these gay test questions.
Since as a child your romantic and platonic feelings can be so indistinguishable, it can be hard to differentiate between who you want to be your best friend and who you are crushing on. When you look back at your childhood, are there any particular people you remember being so caught up in that you could barely think about anything else?
For many bisexuals, they don't realize as a kid that they have the option of crushing on members of the same sex. Because of that, they categorize those crushes differently, putting them under a 'Let's Be Best Friends' column, even though they may have more desire for that person than anyone under their 'Crushes' column. And sometimes those two columns will naturally overlap, creating a grey area that allows for more intimacy without labelling it.
3. Who were your idols growing up? What drew you to them?
Like the friendships that took up all your time, who you admired growing up could be signals to you that you might be gay. Look back at who you wanted to be and why you wanted to be them. This isn't about generic goals, like being a fireman or a rock star. It's the specific people you thought were the greatest people ever.
Was it their aesthetic? Did they bend gender roles or did you just enjoy looking at them? That gives you an answer right there practically. If it wasn't their talent, their contributions to a field or that they were local heroes, just their appearance then that attraction was most likely romantic.
It doesn't always have to be rock stars and scientists that enthralled you. Who were your mentors and the everyday heroes of your life? Were you always looking up to them? Did you want to be them? Or did you just want them to notice you and pay attention to you?
Or maybe you subconsciously picked up on other gay men and idolized them, without knowing why. Do you look back and realize there were a lot of men who were breaking out of masculine stereotypes or who you later found out came out as homosexual? As a child, it can be hard to tell the difference between someone you want to be and someone you want to be with, but sometimes as an adult you don't need a gay test to see your childhood heroes might have been more than just role models to you.
4. Are you ever inexplicably drawn to certain men?
Have you ever walked into a party and as you're looking around zero in on someone and think to yourself, 'There's something about that person that I just want in my life'? Maybe it's how they're dressed, or the way they hold themselves. You're not really sure why, but you just can't help thinking about them the whole night.
Sometimes you just have a type, and it's more subconscious than anything. Your mind picks up on those little nuances and if the face that goes with them is also cute to boot, it can just start sending signals to you to head on over to that person. Every now and then your brain catches on a little quicker than the heart.
You might have friendships that resulted from these times. Maybe there's someone in your life right now that you just knew you were going to get along with. If there is, what do you feel about that person? Are you happy with their friendship or do find that there's still something you crave there? It could quite possibly be that you were hoping for more than friendship there.
5. How do you feel when you see guy-on-guy action?
This might seem like an obvious question, but it's now always the one that you answer honestly. This goes beyond just gay porn. There is more to the experience than sex, and our bodies can become aroused just from the idea. You need to look at how you react to all facets of a guy only relationship.
When you're watching a movie or reading a book, how do you feel when they introduce a gay character or relationship? Does the dynamic resonate with you? Do you feel longing or uncomfortable when the two men hold hands?
What feelings do you get from seeing other men being openly gay? Analyze those feelings carefully; sometimes we dismiss a feeling as uncomfortable but really it's just a manifestation of yearning or desire.
6. When did you first start looking at gay erotica?
Have you looked up any gay erotica up to this day? When did you first start looking around? Was that your triggering event that caused you to look up this gay test?
If you had no interest or curiosity about gay erotica before some triggering event that made you start questioning, it's possible that you are only doing it to test yourself. As mentioned above, that can skew your results because you can get aroused from any kind of sexual representations.
However, if you started searching for it around the time you generally first started looking for porn, you probably had some interest or desire innately.
7. What do you fantasize about?
Close your eyes and try to picture an experience that you think would satisfy you just to try. What first popped into your head? Was it horseback riding? Or was it the cowboys?
Not all fantasies you have might be sexual in nature. When you look ahead to your future, what do you see? Do you see yourself sharing your life with someone? Do you see a wife and children? Or maybe a partner and a cat? Or maybe you don't see yourself settling down but can see yourself being able to move between partners.
Start looking at what it is you want in your life. It could be possible that what you're feeling is just a desire to try something new. Or maybe you can't see your life without intimate connections to other men in your life.
8. What interactions with other men make you uncomfortable?
When you are hanging out with other men, do you ever find yourself in positions that make you uncomfortable for whatever reason? What are those situations? When was the last time it happened?
You might be uncomfortable sharing physical contact with specific men. But why those men? Do you feel unusual when you feel them on your skin? You might be feeling the beginning stages of desire and attraction. Those feelings can start off feeling uncomfortable because it puts us in a vulnerable position.
So when was the last time a man made you feel uncomfortable? Was it when you were almost touching? Or maybe it was a passing comment that made you blush? What about that interaction got to you? You need to really look at those questions and figure out what they mean to you.
9. How do you feel around attractive men? Or men you want to get to know better?
We can all appreciate an attractive man, no matter what our gender or orientation. So what do you feel when you are around an attractive man? Do you find yourself vying for their attention or going out of your way to impress them? Do you ask them a lot of questions about themselves or do you just share similar experiences?
Not all attractions to someone will be physical in nature. Understanding how you react to them in conversation or how you wish you interacted with them can tell you a lot about yourself. Try to figure out if you want to get to know them better, or if there's something about them that really draws you to them.
What we want out of friendships and what we want out of relationships are very different. Do you want to get to know them and spend time with them? Or do they validate your experiences and give you something to relate to? One is something you seek out of a partner, the other from a friend.
10. Did anyone come to mind while reading these questions?
Did certain people pop into your mind as you were reading these questions? Did you find yourself reminded of certain interactions or past incidents? Maybe you were remembering the feelings someone gave you. Whatever the reason you thought of them, they came up in your head for one. Try to figure out why each person popped into your head, and what you wanted from that person. Try to figure out what they made you feel when you thought of them.
Your sexuality is only yours to discover, no one else can give you the answer. However, hopefully this gay test was able to open some doors and shed some light on some of the inner workings of your desire. Whatever the answer may be, it is up to you to meditate on it to find it for yourself.
If at the end of this you feel like something was confirmed, you might be wondering what you should do next. Well the only way to really figure out how your sexuality fits with your life is to start exploring it and figuring out what makes you tick.
You can start by looking around online, and getting to know other gay men in your community. The online experience is low pressure and can give you that anonymity that you need to make the first move.
Wherever this test may take, hopefully you'll find something wonderful along the way.