It might be easy to think that anything that influences a date is going to start and end with the time you spend together on the date, but that’s just not the case. There are actually several things you should be thinking about as you prepare for a date. Think this is too much and there’s no reason to put in any extra effort? While I understand the importance of being natural and seeming like you are acting much in the same way you would on an average Thursday night, it’s still important to do some prep work because the reality is, the first time you meet someone is not like how you would be on an average Thursday night. Here are a few tips that I find extremely helpful in getting prepared for an upcoming date.
Change your state of mind. There can be a lot of pressure that you heap on yourself before meeting someone for the first time. ‘Is it going to be love at first sight?’ ‘Will he think I’m attractive?’ ‘Will I be smart enough to keep up with him?’ These are just some of the myriad of questions you might be considering right before walking in for your date. Give yourself a little pep talk to remember not to place unrealistic expectations on yourself (or your date). You are just meeting someone for the first time and it might go great, it might go poorly, or most likely somewhere in between. It’s a matter of lowering your expectations to realistic levels.
Have a pre-date activity. This is a good idea for it gets you out of a mindset of ‘I have a date tonight. I have a date tonight. I have a date tonight.’ If you go for a quick coffee or run with a friend it’s a way to think about something else for a couple hours and relax with someone you know well where the conversation will flow easily. It’s a good idea not to discuss your upcoming date either because the last thing you need right before a first date is a bunch of questions that will end up getting you anxious when you might already be feeling that way. Keeping calm and cool and not obsessing over the date is key.
Think of some conversation points. Gay men might be stereotypically good conversationalists but it’s important to be prepared. Think of some topics that make for good conversation starters. Think back to his profile and things that he mentioned he was interested in. If you had been talking in a gay chat room you will hopefully already know a fair bit about him before even meeting for the date. While this is certainly an asset, conversing in the flesh is entirely different so don’t let your nerves get the best of you and be prepared. While this might seem ridiculous to do, you’ll appreciate the few minutes you considered it if there is ever a lull in the conversation.
Have I missed anything that you always do before a date? Make sure you write and let me know! Have a great weekend, everyone!