Afternoon to the men of ManPlay! A little bit ago we had a piece on suggestive flirting techniques and we got a great response from it so I thought I would continue today with a related, but very different, topic. I’m talking about body language here. While it can be considered flirting (if you’re doing it right, at least!) it can be a lot more subtle and often subconscious. Here are some tips of things to do – and some that you definitely should not do if you want to give off the right body language to a certain gay Romeo in your life. If you ever notice specific body language moves as well that you or others do, be sure to share them in the comments.
One thing that is odd about body language is you quite likely won’t know that you’re doing a lot of these moves unless you actively see them for yourself. It might sound ridiculous, but if you and a few friends were to tape yourselves just casually hanging out and then watch it back you could get an indication of some of the things you do with your body that you might not even be aware of. This way you can see if you do something repeatedly that you aren’t even aware of, like running your fingers through your hair or tugging at your clothes. It can be uncomfortable to watch yourself, but it can also be really helpful to see yourself as others might. Another thing about body language is it can really make you appear more comfortable and confident, even if you aren’t. This is incredibly helpful if you get nervous before a date. One way to combat that is to stand tall with your chest out which will make you seem more confident than you might feel. If you find that you are blinking a lot, that is something you are likely not even thinking of, but it can make it seem as though you are nervous and uncomfortable. Perhaps you are, but if you’re aware that you’re doing this, try and slow it down. Same with your vocal patterns. If you are speaking rapidly you will come off as more nervous than if you are speaking at a level (not monotonous!) tone and are articulating your points clearly and effectively. One type of body language that gay men should be avoiding at all costs is crossing their arms. This is obvious, but how many dates have you been on where the guy comes across as being standoffish and unwelcoming? Alternately, if you are loose and relaxed with your arms it will put your date at ease as well. There are few things worse than getting off on the wrong foot with your date because you feel he is putting negative energy out there from the start of the date due to his closed-off body language. One way to appear confident in a small way, and to keep yourself from fidgeting (which can be a natural response if you are nervous before a date), is to keep your palms face up or your hands vertical on the table, so they aren’t face down where you will be more likely to tap them out of nervousness. That might sound like a very small thing, but be aware of your hands for a few minutes the next time you go out with a friend and see how they behave. Granted, this might be less likely to happen than if you were on a date because presumably you are more comfortable going out with your friend than you would be on a first date with someone, but it is interesting to take note of in case you are a naturally nervous person regardless of the circumstances. This goes back to the tip at the beginning. If you were to tape yourself for a few minutes (or longer for better results) while interacting with some friends and then watch it back and take notice of your mannerisms, you would be more aware of what you are doing with your body language. The more you are aware of them, the more you can see how they look to others and you can evaluate your behaviors and attempt to modify them for your next big date.
How do you feel about these tips, ManPlay-ers? Is this something you ever notice? Are you ever on a date when you notice that he can’t stop fidgeting and it drives you berserk or are you just anticipating that one or both of you will be nervous? Any tips you have that you’ve used to control the messages your own body language is giving out? Be sure and write and let us know and then discuss with others in the ManPlay chat rooms!