Hope you are all getting back into the swing of the work week and are having success on the gay personals of ManPlay. I was sorting through some old messages I’ve been sent and started thinking about one of the most recurring topics that you all write me about. I’m thinking about ways in which you seem to think you’ve scared someone off or been scared off yourself by someone else’s actions. With that in mind, I came up with a list of some of the top things that you should avoid doing that scare gay men off. You’ve been warned!

First of all, the most common offender is the one that seems to happen the most. When suddenly things get too serious, too fast. If you’ve only been out on a handful of dates and you’re hearing those three little words (‘I Love You’ obviously!) there’s a good chance you’ll be wanting to head for the hills. This is something that should definitely be reserved for after you two have been together for a few months – at least. Showing intense affection too soon is one of the scariest things that a man can hear if he doesn’t feel the same way. While there may be such a thing as love at first sight, it’s more likely that you’ll have to get to know someone for several months before you can really tell if you love him or not. Another thing that will scare him off is if you act like you are investigating his every move. When you see him if you ask him tons of questions about what he has been up to it’s not going to make him feel like you care and are interested; it will make him feel like you don’t trust him and he has to be in constant contact with you. Very few people are going to find that attractive and will likely be turned off as a result. It’s okay to ask some questions but as long as you are just being interested in his life and aren’t prying too much or making it seem like you don’t trust him at all. Something that is different but will give him the same impression is if all of a sudden you decide that you two should be spending all of your time together and then you become irritable and possessive of his time. Even if your heart is in the right place and you really just are looking forward to spending as much time together as possible, this will make you come off as needy and he will likely end up resenting you for it.

Similar to a possessive nature is when you get very upset that he changes plans, even if it’s not at the last minute. Men are generally attracted to breezy and spontaneous men that are able to go with the flow and are up for anything. If you find that you are becoming rigid and not letting the course of the relationship (or the weekend!) flow in a natural way, this will likely be something that could scare him away. So take a chill pill! One of the worst things I find that you can do when seeing someone new is to talk about an ex in such an affectionate way that you end up crying to your new man about your past relationship. This is in the same camp as constantly comparing the two men. It’s not fair to your new man and you are only sabotaging the relationship, even if you don’t realize what you are doing. Finally (and this is a big one!), if you are too quick to try and introduce him to your friends or are constantly on social networking sites posting pictures of the two of you and making suggestive comments about the nature of your relationship, that’s not good! While you are still getting to know each other, it is of no one else’s concern what you mean to each other so it’s wise to keep away from the temptation to flaunt your man in front of your friends whether in the flesh or over the Internet. Making assumptions about your relationship when it’s not clear that you are both on the same page might certainly make him want to bail.

Do you agree with these? Are any of you guilty of doing them or have you been subjected to them in the past? Let us know in the comments and be sure to add to them if you have some tips of your own of actions to avoid at all costs!

Terrence

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