Welcome back to all the hot men of ManPlay out there! I’ve been sifting through letters from a bunch of you this morning and it certainly seems like you had an exciting holiday weekend and I couldn’t be happier about that. From someone going on a decidedly adult egg hunt to a ‘urban family’ celebration gone wild it definitely seems like there was a lot of adventure to be had this weekend. We also got two letters that we really appreciated that were thanking us for the piece we wrote on Thursday about bringing someone home to meet your family for the first time. Glad some of the pointers helped, boys!
Today I started thinking about what it’s like when you’re starting to see someone new and all of the sudden it’s like you’re a teenager again. I know for some of you that wasn’t that long ago but for others it has been many years since we have had that teenage feeling. Think about Katy Perry’s video for the song Teenage Dream. It’s all about feeling like you’re young and absolutely obsessed with the man you’re seeing and you want to spend all of your time with him etc. Isn’t that how so many romances start even once your teenage years are behind you? I was talking to a friend over the weekend who didn’t seem aware of it but he was positively glowing when he would talk about the new man he had started seeing – and talk about him a lot, he sure did. While I like to be optimistic about their budding relationship, I also hope that he isn’t acting completely like a teenager when it comes to the rest of his life as a result of his new man. Here are some of the things to watch out for.
When gay men get together with someone new, it’s easy to start focusing all your time on that relationship and neglecting other areas. You know when you have friends that all of the sudden are impossible to reach because they have a new boyfriend? That could be you and you might not even realize it. While it’s important to be understanding when this happens to others, it’s wise to be aware of it when you are experiencing it so that your friends don’t end up with hurt feelings. It’s also easy to put on blinders when it comes to this new relationship and think that things are a lot better than they are in reality. Remember when you first dated someone as a teenager and even if he was totally unsuitable for you no one could tell you that because you only saw the good in him? It’s fairly easy to become like that again as an adult. A possible reason for this is you might feel like you are in a hurry to find a meaningful relationship so when you see a possibility, you latch onto it and don’t want to let go, even if it seems like he is someone you might not have considered seriously previously. Most importantly, it’s imperative not to become reckless with your daily responsibilities that you already have or with your actions when you are alone with him. When you’re in your teenage years, you can put a lot of reckless activity down (in part, at least) to your surging hormones and the fact that a whole new portion of your life is opening up to you, but as adults can we make the same excuses? I don’t think so. While of course there are going to be rushes of endorphins as we find ourselves potentially falling in love, we should have the experience at this point not to get carried away and start skipping work or household chores that you maintain as an adult. Reckless activity can get you in a lot of trouble as an adult so it’s wise to keep your head firmly on your shoulders and remind yourself that you aren’t 18 anymore. I’m not saying it’s not great to let loose every so often, but do so knowing that letting loose for a period of time is healthy but not a new lifestyle that you’re going to take up as an adult.
Have any of you found yourself in this situation? Without even being aware of it you are carrying on like a teenager rushing around telling everyone how crazy you are about your new man and you find yourself thinking about him nearly all the time? It definitely happens to the best of us so I’m curious to hear how you’ve dealt with it in the past. Maybe you haven’t done anything and just enjoyed the ride without anything bad happening. Or maybe something did when you began neglecting your adult responsibilities. Be sure and let me know and then head to the gay chat rooms of ManPlay and discuss with other members!