Afternoon, everyone! If you’re like me, you’re in the midst of a bit of a spring tune-up before summer (and beach season!) hits us. I know that not all gay men are vain and obsessed with finding a flat stomach or bulging muscles, and that’s not what I’m suggesting here at all. But I have been hitting the gym a bit more than usual lately and have noticed a LOT of cruising going on. As I started to think about this more, in the last few days I’ve been on the lookout for what seems like the usual suspects of people attempting to spice up their dating lives through hitting the gym. While there are certainly more cruise-y gyms than others, the one I currently go to is a fairly average mix of everyone – straight and gay men and women. Here are some of the common people I’ve noticed around the gym that are scoping out more than the equipment.

First, there’s the man that is more there to talk on his phone – usually loudly – than do any actual working out. We’ve all seen him. First he decides to find a machine that has a lot of space to hold his other machines, usually a phone, a music device and a myriad of other gadgets. This all leads up to him doing a minute or two of working out in between taking lengthy calls where he makes sure to name drop and mention his expensive lifestyle, as though that will impress us. Avoid this man at all costs unless you want to go out on a date with him that is an extended version of this scenario. Picture going to a movie where he is either tapping away at a text the whole time or leaving the cinema to take calls every five minutes. A dinner out where he is paying more attention to his phone than you is never going to be a good time.

Then there’s the typical gym bunnies that are there to lift weights and talk about lifting weights. This is a tricky one because they are often very, very attractive. With their massive muscles and masculine energy, these hot boys can be very alluring, if it weren’t for one thing… Have you ever tried to talk to them for more than a minute? Though this is a generalization to be sure, these men seem to only have one interest: Working out. If that’s your bag and you’re fine to talk to them for hours on end about protein shakes and bench pressing various weights, then for it! Otherwise, don’t even bother. It makes sense that if you spend that much time working on your body you want to talk about it, but come on!

Another type of gym occupant you can find in pretty much any gym might be appealing to some, but I would advise staying away. It’s the young twink that has clearly never set foot in a gym before. He’s wandering around aimlessly and clearly wearing workout clothes that he saved from high school gym class. He might be freshly out of the closet and both excited by the other gay men around but also intimidated. This could be a potentially good date if you’re at a similar level in your life, but otherwise, it’s going to be a lot of work.

There’s also the type of man I refer to as ‘Out of shape, but has no clue’. If that title doesn’t adequately explain what he looks like or acts like, this is generally a very big and out of shape man who refuses to wear anything that is either age or size appropriate. Generally the shirt he’ll be working out in will have some sort of saying on it like “Look but don’t touch!”, which might be funny if it was in an ironic way, but it doesn’t appear to be. It would be one thing if he was also a really nice guy and just happened to be clueless about what he looked like and what he should be wearing in the gym, but this is essentially an extension of the gym bunnies mentioned above. Trying to talk to him is an exercise in patience – and not the kind of exercise you want to be getting at the gym!

How do you feel about this, ManPlay-ers? Unfair or right on the nose? Of course, there are exceptions to all of these and you should approach anyone that you think would be interesting, but these are some of the types of people I’ve noticed that I would watch out for! Have any of you ever found a great match at the gym? What advice would you be giving? Comment and let me know your thoughts and good luck with your workouts!

Terrence

Categories: Hot Boys Terrence